We know from verses like Proverbs 12:26 that friends are essential. Like I mentioned in an article on building biblical boundaries in friendships, Jim Rhon once said that you become the average of the five people with whom you spend the most time. So, how can we find godly friends based on Christ’s character who will bring us closer to God?

“The righteous should choose his friends carefully, for the way of the wicked leads them astray.”

Proverbs 12:26

Proverbs 22:24-25 tells us that by associating ourselves with those of poor character, we can fall sway to their harmful influence.

“Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways And set a snare for your soul.”

Proverbs 22:24-25

Starving for Connection 

God designed us to be relational and social creatures, and whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, everyone wants to feel like they belong. This desire for community stems from the hole in our hearts that was intentionally put there by God.

This hole is for God and God alone to fill, but of course, humanity tries to satisfy that desire with other idols. These idols may be friends, phones, social media, relationships, and for me, control. All idols attempt to satisfy our inherent starvation for connection temporarily. 

This desperation for belonging, community, and connection can lead us to rely on idols such as friendships instead of leaning on God to satisfy that hunger. 

How do godly friends appear?

We know friends can become an idol if we aren’t filling that desire for connection with a relationship with God, so how can we find godly friends based on Christ’s character?

Returning to Proverbs 22:24-25, one of the characteristics the Bible warns against is an angry person “Lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.” Understanding the character of Christ will help pick out the attributes we should seek in friends.

The Character of Jesus

• Matthew 9:36 says Jesus is compassionate. 
• Mark 10:45 says Jesus is humble.
• His death on the cross says Jesus is loving.
• Luke 23:34 says Jesus is forgiving. 
• Jesus prioritized God over others. 
• Jesus is patient.

For more of Christ’s character traits, click here.

How to spot a godly person

“By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thornbushes, or figs from thistles?”

Matthew 7:16

You can spot a godly person by their actions, by the report of others, by how they treat others, and by their words.  

If you want to read more Bible verses on biblical friendships, click here.

For example

1. A friend of mine represents Jesus to me in her quiet love for others, her patient ear, and her ability to see others with an open mind and heart. Just one conversation with her, and immediately you can tell she has the heart of a servant. She puts the needs of others above her own, and her thoughtfulness truly is a powerful reflection of Christ.
2. Another friend of mine has this heavenly wisdom and understanding that continually inspires me to pursue God more intentionally. She is easy to talk to and in that way very open-minded about others. She has a compassionate heart of gold and consistently serves others and is content with spending precious time and effort for needs that are not her own.

To Summarize

Friends who bear a true reflection of Christ will, in some way, have at least a piece of Christ’s character. If you can see Christ in them and their speech and actions, then you may have a good friend coming your way. So, if you are wondering how to find godly friends based on Christ’s character? The big question in finding friends is as follows:

Do they remind you of Christ?