I have a nasty habit of overscheduling myself. In wanting to perfect myself, I want to do everything right now and do it all flawlessly. While I know this perfectionism-fueled ambition leads only to burnout, I feel I can still manage. Believe me, I know how depleting burnout is, and to read more about that, click here. Feelings are a fleeting, unstable foundation, but that doesn’t help how convincing they can be. The problem with feelings is how quickly basing decisions off of them can become habitual.  However, there is a way to overcome the power of habit and balance yourself with a lifestyle of authentic rest.

Balance: Stop Burnout, Find Rest, and Still Work

One evening, I realized that I was obeying my feelings, which urged me to add another task to my to-do list even when I needed a break. 

My eyes, tired from staring at a bright laptop screen, squeezing shut, sending pain into every muscle and vein. Closing my laptop, I picked up my pencil and checked off a task on my to-do list. My shoulders relaxed for a moment; I chuckled at myself. Not to myself, but at myself. Ohh, Alycia, you’ve done it again. Will you ever learn? I felt trapped, running the same race with the same form, just with different scenery.

Looking back at that list of tasks, I shook my head and felt tears well—one, two, three more things to do, all of which must be completed by tomorrow. I felt my body give out, and I realized how depleted I felt. I could manage school if it were all I needed to do. Managing work would be effortless if it was all I needed to do. I could manage any one of my goals, but I couldn’t do it all. But there is a way to find balance.

Endless are the times I have been disappointed in myself. Endless are the times I knew I couldn’t add another project, and yet I did it anyway. It’s easy to put away that small, still voice saying, “you don’t have time for this. You don’t have energy for this.” It’s easy to shush it and choose busyness anyway. Often I excuse quieting that voice because “it’s only me I’m hurting.” I can’t speak for all perfectionists, but I can speak for my own experience. This awful, seemingly martyr-like excuse is void, invalid, selfish.

In the last blog post, I talked about a list of goals I wanted to accomplish before three years expired. Looking back on that list from years ago, I laugh. The disappointment fades after organizing your priorities. I didn’t get around to accomplishing those goals, not because I’m lazy or because I have no time. They weren’t goals I needed to accomplish. I thought they were good, but they weren’t the best. Trying to do all the things, even including the best, only leads to burnout. This awful habit is why balance is so hard but so important.

Rest is a difficult concept for perfectionists; I speak from experience. But, some life-altering truths make resting less stressful. Click here to learn more.

Do the Best Thing 

Whenever my dad drives me anywhere, he always listens to some financial podcast uncovering tips and tricks to maintain a balanced but frugal lifestyle. I remember one speaker, Paula Pant, repeating her mantra, and this time it sunk in, “You can buy anything, just not everything.” Today, I translate that more as a “you can spend your time, fill your plate, lengthen your to-do list with anything, but you don’t have the ability, no matter how hard you try, to do everything.” No amount of reorganizing your schedule can support the number of things you wish to accomplish. If Rome wasn’t built in a day, if everyone has the same 24 hours, then humanity was not made to do everything, but it was made to thrive with balance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1 says, “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” There is a season for everything. Maybe in this season, God calls you to learn to rest or work on your blog or take on a new job or a new hobby. Maybe this is the season of finding and building friendships or learning a new skill. While all those are good things, God calls us to focus on the best things in each season. 

To find this “best thing”, God has put it on my heart to ask myself, “who does it glorify?” Whatever is leftover, make a priorities list. Put those things in order of how passionate you are about them. God puts passions on our hearts for a reason. 

Most importantly, make time for the always-best priority, God, by balancing responsibilities and managing time. I’ll tell you, I probably get to study the Bible only a few times a week, but after that quiet time, I feel the most at peace. You can read more about what the Bible has taught me just from one week of study by clicking here.

Until next time, 

-Alycia Dantier