How to Find Freedom From the Fear of Flaws

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves [punishment]. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.”

1 John 4:8

God will never leave us when we fail

My mom always reminds my sister and me that there is nothing we could do to lose her love. Her love casts out my fear of confessing and her judging me. Because of her love for me and my love for her, I’m not afraid she will leave me when I mess up. 1 John 4:8 mirrors this message. God won’t leave us when we make a mistake because He loves us and accepts us. He wants to perfect us in Him so that we will be “perfect in love”–loved and without fear. He says because of His love, the true definition of His love, we have no need for the fear of flaws.

I often get caught up in all my mistakes and all the ways I can improve to become closer to God, more productive, happier, and whatnot, but, what I wonder is the why behind my actions. Why am I chasing these tasks and saying it is because God wants me to. The fear of remaining in this state of sin swallows my ability to hear God’s voice saying, “one step at a time, I didn’t call you to change overnight.”  As previously discussed, God wants nothing more than a relationship with us. He doesn’t say, “Read your Bible every morning or you will disappoint me,” His love is not conditional. It is not dependent on our abilities to follow the rules. In fact, Romans 3:20 says Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin.”

Understanding the laws to combat the fear of flaws

God doesn’t give us these laws, commandments, rules to assign us the job of perfecting ourselves. He doesn’t say, “well, I outlined what a perfect human should be right here in this trusty Bible and I’ve now given you the Holy Spirit and salvation, and you represent me, so you have to go and perfectly follow every word right now.” No! 

Philippians 1:6 says, “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.” God will finish what He starts. But fear is the epitome of perfectionism. The fear of not doing enough, the fear of losing favor with or disappointing God. When we chose to accept the gift of salvation, we aren’t handed a contract, we are given freedom. There isn’t a catch, there are no strings attached. All God wants from you is for you to love Him above everything else on this Earth because His love is abundant enough to travel worlds and die for you. Perfect love accepts your flaws and calls them beautiful, not giving you a pass on living in sin, but giving you a hand to help you out of it.

The Potter and the Clay

Just like the potter formed the clay after he had possession of it in Jeremiah 18:1-6, so God forms and perfects us gradually, He knows who he has created us to be before we fulfill that image, and thus He calls us perfect. He sees what He intended for us to be, not the messy state we are right now. Galatians 2:20 says “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” 

We live with the identity of a new creation, our sinlessness is seen as Jesus’ sinlessness. God looks down at us and sees His son, Jesus. He sees His perfect child. 

How we grow (spoiler: it’s not with the fear of flaws)

The Holy Spirit reveals to us what we need to surrender, through a word from a friend, a passage from the Bible, or even a situation at school. When we surrender that issue, God takes possession of it and works in our hearts to change it. The change is gradual. The issue with perfectionism is we often see all the things that are wrong with ourselves, and with others. This leads to judgment and condemnation.

Although we find it easy to point out the problem, and complain about the problem, and beat ourselves up for having the problem, God does not expect overnight perfection. In His eyes, we are already perfect. However, He sees that we might stray from Him in specific areas of our lives. That is where He comes in and works to perfect us according to the law. We are called perfect initially because God loves us enough to give us grace where we have sin. Gradually, those sinful habits will be found out, surrendered, and totally deleted because God loves us enough to bring us closer to Him, so by our surrender, we have peace.

To achieve freedom from the fear of flaws, lean into God’s definition of love to fully understand who He is and how He loves, unconditionally.

Click here to read more about how to quiet the voice in your head that tells you your flaws make you unlovable.

Until next time,

-Alycia Dantier