I just want to be enough. It doesn’t matter how many people remind me of my accomplishments or positive attributes; I still can’t release this inner craving for acceptance. After I wake up; I try my best to accomplish everything I need to be “good,” then I go to bed, defeated. No matter how many requirements of perfection I achieve, I still never receive the promised rewards. I think I’ve believed the wrong person. Maybe the promises never come to fruition because the promiser is a fake.

Chasing “Enough” Works Against Us

Satan has a way of skewing the truth in a deceivingly small but vital way. It is so minuscule that the rest of the world sees your efforts as godly and praiseworthy while we inadvertently serve the wrong master, trusting the wrong person.

How tiring is it to believe lies and serve the enemy, unaware? How freeing is it to realize the extent of God’s love and the abundance of His promises? The fear of being enough takes up so much brain space; it’s exhausting.

Romans 4:4-5 says it beautifully: “Now to him who works, the wages are not counted as grace but as debt. But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness.”

“Now to him who works, the wages are not counted as grace but as debt. But to him who does not work but believes on Him who justifies the ungodly, his faith is accounted for righteousness.”

Romans 4:4-5

Spotting The Imitation

Now, it’s hard to stop working altogether, especially for those of us who see the imperfections call out to us, but redirecting our work to that of surrender is more manageable. The only work we should do is that of seeking God, of learning to identify His voice. How else are we to listen and obey if we can’t find His voice through all the lies?

Satan’s imitations must act like God’s truth because a lie is only believable if it is believable. Satan, the master of deceit, understands the art of lies, of sleight of hand. By promising the gifts of God, we assume the source is identical. We doubt the simplicity of salvation, and that doubt makes us susceptible to Satan’s imitation security. Imitation leather is supposed to reserve all the semblances of the original, but for a different price. Imitation love is supposed to appear like God’s authentic, saving love, but for a much higher cost. The copy lasts for a shorter time than the original. Our temporary relief associated with human checklists and accomplishments is never enough to satisfy the God-sized hole.

 Being introspective for the moment, I’ve realized that I claim God’s promises but chose to serve the wrong master. Instead of resting, which is our “work” or call from God, I work to achieve peace because surely being fulfilled and saved isn’t as easy as God says. Did God really mean salvation is through grace and attained by trust? Did God really say that?    

Sound familiar?    Every time I chose the “right thing,” I was serving the wrong master.

Okay, so let’s break this down because I’m overwhelmed even thinking about all the stuff I’ve got to change. And there lies the problem. The stuff I’ve got to change.

God’s Relation With Work

Before I get to all the things, I want to remind myself, and you, of course, the epitome of God’s relation with human work. He does not need us to help Him work. He needs us to surrender. The more we fight to do it by ourselves, the more time it takes for God to reform our hearts. So, understand that whenever Satan tempts us with the “right choice,” remember that God never speaks with judgment. He never speaks with condemnation. Conviction? Yes. Condemnation? No.

Conviction Vs Condemnation

• Conviction gives us hope. Condemnation brings us shame.
• Conviction points to a better future, while condemnation points out past mistakes.
• Condemnation attacks your character, but conviction speaks on a specific issue.
• Conviction is forgiving and accepting, but condemnation is violent and isolating.
• Condemnation comes from a desire to harm, but conviction is humbling and comes from a place of love.

Hopefully that helps you to identify the voice of God’s conviction amid Satan’s condemnation.

The Core Desire of Being “Enough”

The desire to be enough comes from fearing you are unlovable and unworthy. It shows doubt in God’s ability to both love us despite our flaws, and God’s word, which says by faith you have been saved through the work Christ has already completed. Each time we chose to word towards salvation, we refuse the identity of Christ. To be straightforward, chasing our view of perfect is saying, “God, your perfect isn’t enough.” When the author of perfection calls you good, He didn’t make a mistake. That is such a seemingly effortless but torturously complicated truth to internalize.

To identify God’s voice, learn about His character, not the imitation we often believe. He does not condemn us but lifts us up in life. God doesn’t remind us of our mistakes but reminds us of the work He has already accomplished, and thus the peace that all that needs to be done has been done. God calls us to rest. Satan calls us to work.

I could write on this subject for months and years and never say all that I want to say, and all that deserves to be said. But I’ve got school tomorrow, so I have to cut this short.

Until next time,

-Alycia