Judgment is one of two things, depending on who you are. Judgment, “the process of forming an opinion or evaluation by discerning and comparing” or judgment, “a divine sentence or decision.” When you judge someone, you either make an assumption because you are human, or you make a decision because you are God.

Layers

1. Judgment has many different layers, just like we have multiple coats. One layer is just an overall, “oh, you’re different from me and what I know—you must be X.” We assume based on differences between ourselves and the person in question.
2. Another layer is a little deeper. This type of judgment comes from deep within your heart, the part of you that picks apart the pieces of yourself. This same part can get bored of only picking you apart and might decide to pick apart other people. We’ll talk more about this layer later.
3. I think the second and third layers tie into each other. A kind of jealousy can be a big part of critical thoughts. When I just moved to a new school, I remember continually judging people who I was jealous of because they had friends, and I didn’t.

What the Bible says 

Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.

Matthew 7:1-2 New King James Version

Punching bag

This verse just reminds me of a punching bag. You punch it, and it swings back. You judge someone, and someone returns the favor (I had to learn the hard way how badly it hurts when that bag turns back).

I have always had an issue with being critical of others. I never really asked why, I just assumed it was my personality, and everyone silently was just like me. Judging others was my way to almost “guard my heart,” so to speak. If I came across as confident and secure, then maybe I would feel confident and secure in who I am. Fake it ‘till you make it, right? 

 Jealousy and a fixed mindset 

When we or others judge people, usually, it is because we are jealous or bitter towards that person. We don’t know who we are in Christwho we are in Christ, so we judge others to say, “I’m glad I’m not like them bc they are XYZ.” But behind closed doors, you said they are XYZ because, in truth, you put yourself down for being the same XYZ. We judge the bad that we see in people that is the same bad we see in ourselves.

For me, I judged someone who I thought was mean and self-centered, but in reality, it was because deep down, I felt like I was self-centered and mean. This ties into perfectionism, too. When you have the constant nagging voice of an inner critic, it often becomes too hard. To almost even the playing field, your critic can start putting others down to cope with your own insecurities. Perfectionism becomes your identity, and spreads like a desease until your brain identifies everyone through that lens.

Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things. 2 But we are sure that the judgment of God is according to truth against them which commit such things.

Romans 2:1-3 King James Version

We do the same things that we put others down for doing! Being judgmental is the same as being a hypocrite!

And Matthew 7:3-5 echoes this message.

And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’, and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Matthew 7:3-5 New King James Version

There is more to the story

God has this way of slowly eroding every little habit and flaw in me, and tediously rebuilding my heart piece by piece. He sent me person after person, time after time, situation after situation to show me that people aren’t as bad as I make them out to be. He tried to show me that people have more to the story than just their flaws.

I remember this one girl I had seen, heard about, and maybe talked to once. She always had a guy beside her, and I always assumed that she was just boy-crazy and couldn’t stand on her own two feet. Then, I found out there was more to her story—there was more to her.

This girl who I thought I had “figured out” I knew nothing about. She had lost a parent. After learning this, I didn’t pity her, and I didn’t judge her, I understood just a little more about her. God showed me that there is more to the story.

People judging me

Even for myself, people have come up to me after getting to know me, and I will never forget what this one person told me. They said, “you were very intimidating in the beginning, but once I got to know you, I thought differently.” Someone brought to my attention that I came across not as confident and secure, but as judgmental, mean, and intimidating—even scary. Of course, there is a fine line between being intimidating for being a strong personality and being vocally judgmental.

Everyone falls short 

Also, God showed me how everyone falls short and how I can’t just switch off being critical. It might be a lifelong process, but in the end, if I start now, then maybe the journey will be a little easier.

God showed me from a observer’s view how it looks to judge someone. Let me tell you; it doesn’t look good. I always held certain people in higher ranking than others. As I was able to see how even people I considered “fathers” and “mothers” fall short,  I knew I was guilty of the same sin. So, I got to thinking and praying.

God showed me

1. I need to see all people as brothers and sisters instead of fathers and mothers and “others”.
2. I do NOT want to look like a hypocritical, negative-Nancy-type of person who is known for speaking the truth, but as I found out, not in love.

(Just a disclaimer, I don’t harbor any resentment or anything towards these people, I’m glad it happened so now I see how no one is perfect and how you will always need God).

I didn’t mean to assume

Don’t make assumptions based on the appearance of someone (attitude, clothes, etc). You can only make a fair judgment by going more in-depth than that. You can only judge someone when you look at their heart, and only God knows the hearts of man.

But the Lord said to Samuel, “For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.

1 Samuel 16:7b New King James Version

Only God can judge people.

How to conquer a judging heart 

To overcome a judging heart, you must understand that the opposite of judgment is love.

So basically, we have to know who we are in Christ to love others and who we are in Him. Easy, right? Hardly, but thankfully God has given us tools to hold fast to who He says we are.