There is this ingrained desire to solve problems. At the core of some of us, we feel this need to make everything better. My mom always described this feeling as wanting to be someone’s savior. When someone trusts us enough to open up about their lousy grade, parents’ divorce, or crumbling love life, we want to fix the situation, make everyone happy, and save the day.
I have a nasty habit of overscheduling myself. In wanting to perfect myself, I want to do everything right now and do it all flawlessly. While I know this perfectionism-fueled ambition leads only to burnout, I feel I can still manage. Believe me, I know how depleting burnout is, and to read more about that, click here. Feelings are a fleeting, unstable foundation, but that doesn’t help how convincing they can be. The problem with feelings is how quickly basing…
I have a terrible habit of overscheduling myself. It’s near impossible to say no to others, my friends, or even myself. This desperate need to take on more and more is another branch of perfectionism. It starts when I find a new project, and I can’t pick and choose what I take on. Because choosing just one creative project or just one new business venture is too difficult a decision, I resort to planning a strategy to handle it all…
Rationally rationalize its rationalization The inner critic can weasel around our weak comebacks and rationalization, so we must choose stronger weapons to win each fight. One tell-tale sign of perfectionism is all-or-nothing thinking. The inner critic generalizes based on our works. For example, I have a terrible habit of stumbling over my words, using fillers like “you know,” “um,” and, of course, “like.” I have an even worse habit of agreeing with perfectionism when it whispers things like: – “Nobody…
The Bible promises us endurance and joy; it promises us otherworldly strength; however, they often feel like empty promises. God filled His word with Biblical assurance for endurance, but when your knees hurt from kneeling and your heart still feels empty, confusion is a natural response. In this season of waiting for His promises to become a reality, we choose one of three paths. We choose to blame ourselves, blame God, or blame the timing. Blame Ourselves I am guilty…
Mistakes are inevitable, but too often we allow them to damage our self-esteem. I stumble with my words. Words are supposed to be “my thing,” but I can’t seem to communicate with concision and clarity in spontaneous verbal conversations. I backtrack, I revise, and I start on side trails, all in an attempt to explain myself. Naturally, I take on the weight of carrying the conversation and the pressure to come up with interesting conversation topics. I naturally can’t think…
Some people and situations never fail to stir up my anger. Have you ever felt like laugh-crying when one more degrading comment acts as the last straw? It often feels like we attract snarky statements and passive remarks. The enemy puts people in our path who know what to say to hurt us. For me, damaging my reputation is a guaranteed way to rouse my temper. Reputation is important. I have to be known as the “good egg.” I have…
Challenging seasons are an expected part of life in this broken world. I naturally focus on the negative, and complaining is an everyday battle. God calls us to tame the urge to complain and endure faithfully instead. In this article, I review Paul’s outline to help God’s people in a season of suffering. My season of struggling Last year was a challenging year. God has blessed me with a stable family, consistent community, and unchanging house situation. But after COVID-19…
The voice of perfectionism, also known as the inner critic, is arguably the meanest, most hateful demons in history. I can’t tell you the number of times where its lies have made me cry myself to sleep. The number of days it has stolen seem innumerable. The expectations that perfectionism forces on someone are too much to endure. I remember scoffing at bullied kids on commercials or movies because the immature taunts they endured from their bullies seemed like child’s…
Connection is arguably a driving force of humanity. We crave connection with friends, family, and even ourselves. Society prizes connection communities, whether within the confines of a household or the limits of a town. Community is strongly associated with love. Love is the principal foundation of the Bible, the gospel within it, and the motivation of the God we serve. Becoming more connected to God is important not only for ourselves but for others as well. If we are connected…