Rationally rationalize its rationalization

The inner critic can weasel around our weak comebacks and rationalization, so we must choose stronger weapons to win each fight. One tell-tale sign of perfectionism is all-or-nothing thinking. The inner critic generalizes based on our works. For example, I have a terrible habit of stumbling over my words, using fillers like “you know,” “um,” and, of course, “like.” I have an even worse habit of agreeing with perfectionism when it whispers things like:

– “Nobody cares about what you have to say because you keep messing up your words.”

– “Just talk! Quit being such an awkward person! Everyone will think you are mentally challenged or something.”

– “You’re going to bomb that speech assignment. You can’t even get through a conversation without stumbling through your words like an idiot. You’re so incapable. You’re a horrible speaker.”

You could summarize the first example as “if you can’t do it right, don’t do it at all,” which is perfectionistic garbage. Sometimes it takes summarizing or restating the inner critic’s lies to decipher what it is actually saying. It’s easier to self-deprecate and believe perfectionism when it somewhat makes sense. But by beating the logic with better, more thorough logic, we win the inner debate. The easiest battle is the one in which we surrender. In other words, it’s easier to give in and internalize its lies, but, in my mom’s words, “be like a duck, let it roll off your back.”

So, when you hear the inner critic trying to convince you with its faulty logic, rephrase or even summarize its argument. Because I enjoy debates, I like to imagine I’m in a debate with perfectionism. That image gives me the near cocky confidence to craft a convincing enough comeback. Perfectionism is the enemy! I forget all too often that perfectionism inhales insecurity and exhales exaggeration. Perfectly packaged, playing on my insecurities, I buy the inner critic’s half-truths and complete lies.

Ignore, don’t internalize

By calling the inner critic out on its lies, we take away its power. We are consumed by the fire we feed; we control how much power perfectionism has over us. For more information on how to tell the difference between perfectionism’s voice and God’s voice, click here.

When perfectionism says: You screwed up that assignment, you’re going to fail your class. Just imagine how disappointed your teacher is going to be. You can’t do anything right except screw up.

You Say: That is the inner critic. It lies, so I’m not trusting it.

Of course, this is easier to discuss and not practice. One way to keep this practice close is to create an image you can turn to when the inner critic starts blabbing.

Remember the victories

Lastly, fight perfectionism with the very thing it hopes you forget. I’ve heard from many sources how keeping a timeline of your experiences, both good and bad, may provide a balanced overview of your life. Remembering how far God has brought you and how many battles He won in your life work to remind you of His trustworthiness. You can read more about how remembering the victories strengthens both your endurance and your relationship with God; click here.

Another way to remember the victories is to keep a gratitude journal. Journaling is a dependable self-help habit and, while it may be overprescribed, it’s helped me organize my thoughts and block perfectionism’s overwhelm.

Perfectionism is a twisted imitation of God’s perfection and, like I say all too often, a weed so hard to uproot. I know the feeling of looking at your to-do list and immediately feeling unequipped and overwhelmed all at once. I know the feeling of losing confidence over the inner critic’s cruel musings. Losing faith in God’s ability and desire to rescue us from the inner critic’s tangled web is a terrifying feeling I’ve experienced.

These few practices aren’t going to cure perfectionism or forever silence the inner critic. I don’t believe there is any human thing strong enough to silence perfectionism completely. But I do believe we serve a God who is patient and merciful, and full of grace, and those character traits are what re-establish my faith in His desire to save.

Until next time,

-Alycia